Life's Choices
by Karevsanatomy
Summary: Years ago Alex walked out of Izzie's life to start a new one with Addison. Now he is back, and a choice Izzie made then effects them all in ways none of them expected. Lexzie, Addex, Maddison Alex Izzie, Alex Addison, Mark Addison, Revised Choices
1. The Choice Prologue

-1**Author's Note: Some time ago I wrote a story called Choices. Since that time my writing has improved. This story had always been a favorite of mine, and I want to expand upon it, improve it. I hope you enjoy it as much this time as you did the first time. If this is your first time reading it, I really hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you guys think. Also, there is now a prologue. **

The night is cold, which is perfect really when Izzie thinks about it. She hunches her shoulders, burrowing deeper into the olive green quilted jacket she wore. Her dark eyes scan the almost empty parking lot until they fall on a tall, dark haired man walking toward a cherry red Honda. Alex.

"Alex," she calls out. Her heart pounds as she crosses the damp cement to where he is standing, waiting for her to catch up. He wears a guarded mask on his face. She doesn't blame him, there is a lot of history between the two of them, some of which isn't the greatest. "Do you have a minute?"

Alex hesitates, then nods. "Yeah. Sure. I been meaning to talk to you anyways."

Izzie's heart rate accelerates. Perhaps this is going to be easier than she thought. "I've been meaning to talk to you to." She steps closer, a smile lifting the corners of her lips. She is a bit startled at the emotions she feels coursing through her. She knows she loves him, has always loved him. "I've really missed you Alex. It's been weird the last month or so, not talking. I hate that. Us not talking. I hate the way things ended between us."

"Yeah. Me too," he answers. Misery is evident in his voice.

"Really?" She looks at him closely, excitement building were dread has been when he nods. This is going to be perfect, she thinks. "I have something to tell you."

Horror crosses his face. "Don't Izzie. Don't say it." He looks down, then looks back up, his features twisting into something akin to resignment. "I'm getting married."

Her lips part. No. This isn't happening. "To who?" she cries. She tries to recall if she has seen him with anyone but draws a blank.

"Addison. We…that is…she's pregnant."

This isn't happening, Izzie thinks again. Tears start to burn her eyes. She shoves them back. She isn't going to cry. She had already resigned herself to being alone. Alex marrying Addison and having a baby with her didn't change anything. "I…I'm happy for you," she says before turning to stride towards her car. She hears him calling her name but keeps walking. She knows that if she doesn't she will say what she had come to say. Alex didn't need anything more thrown at him. Addison needs him, she doesn't. She is use to being alone. Sometimes it wasn't it her choice, but this time it is.


	2. Blast From The Past

-1Chapter One

The Past Is Always There

_12 Years Later…_

The building directory of Waterford Towers is constantly changing. Oh, there are a few offices that have been there for years, like O'Malley-Yang Cardiothoracic Specialists. Most don't last though, which is why Dr. Cristina Yang isn't all that surprised to see the building manager sliding yet another new plaque in. What does surprise her is the name on the plaque. _Dr. Alex Karev, OB/GYN. _

Cristina hasn't thought of Alex in years. Not since he transferred from Seattle Grace to some hoity-toity place in New York City. Dr. Addison Montgomery had gone with him. Which hadn't been much of a surprise since she had been pregnant with his child at the time.

"George is going to love this," she murmurs as she walks the mere four feet to the elevator. Her black pointy toed Jimmy Choo's click on the white and gold marble floor. This building was their first fight as partners. George had wanted some quaint little office by the waterfront, or one of them pre-fabricated spaces the hospital offered. She had wanted to make a statement. O'Malley-Yang Cardiothoracic Specialists wasn't going to be a cookie cutter facility. They were going to make a name for themselves. To make a name, one had to give the presence of success. This building did just that. She had won that argument the way she usually won all their arguments: threatening to spill to their patients his syph-boy story. Worked every time.

The office is empty when she enters, except for their oh so somber receptionist. Ironically, it had been George to find Deirdre. The almost sixty retired nurse made the perfect addition to their little "family", as George likes to call them. Cristina is constantly reminding him that Deirdre is just an employee and she is just his partner, not family. "Is Dr. O'Malley in yet?"

Deirdre looks up from the paperwork she is filing. "He's in his office, I believe." Her voice is as efficient as her work skills. She doesn't wait for Cristina to say thank you, she knows that won't be coming. She simply goes back to her filing.

George is indeed in his office, sitting behind his desk, fingers steepled, deep in thought. "You seen the directory, right? That's what you're going to tell me. That you seen Karev's name on the directory." He looks up at her, his blue eyes intense.

Cristina nods, setting her brief case by the door before collapsing in one of the burgundy and navy striped wing back chairs that flanked his desk. His office has a homey feel to it. Nothing like her black and white sterile one across the hall. "Yes. Did you know?" She crosses her legs, smoothing the slim black skirt of her suit.

He shakes his head, a lock of hair falling onto his forehead. It doesn't matter how old he got, he still has a boyish charm about him. Even dressed up in a 3,000 suit, sitting behind a desk that would cost most people a year's wages he looks like a little boy. Like Bambi. "No. Not till this morning. Caught Rupert as he was changing out the directory. Guess that pediatrician couldn't hack it."

"They never do," Cristina says smoothly. She drums her French tipped finger nails on the brocade upholstery. "Why do think he came back?"

George shrugs. "Who knows. Heard him and Addison got divorced a few years ago. Maybe he got tired of being in her shadow. Wants to make a name for himself." At least that is what George is hoping. When he first saw Alex's name he almost panicked, thinking he knew. Then, he had shaken the thought off. Alex had left long before. There was no way for him to know.

"Sure. That makes sense. Have you called her yet? Given her fair warning?" Her being Izzie. They would need to warn Izzie. It was only fair.

"I tried. Kept getting voice mail. She's probably in surgery." He scrubs his hands down his face. This isn't going to be easy. Telling Izzie that Alex is back. She would take it well, put on a show that she is fine, all the while breaking apart and panicking inside.

Cristina nods. Izzie was in the habit of scheduling things as early as possible. "What about Meredith? Does she know?" Meredith was the only one of them to try to keep in touch with Alex. If emails once a year was considered keeping in touch.

"Yeah, that's the thing I don't get. She knew. The least she could have done was warn everybody that Evil Spawn was back." He doesn't' really think Alex was evil, or a spawn. He feels indifference where Karev was concerned.

"So, she knew then." Cristina frowns. It isn't like Meredith to keep things from her. While she is sure Mere had her reason's it still bothered her. Given the circumstances, they should have all known.

"Yeah. She knew. Said Alex called her last night. Their suppose to meet for lunch," he says dryly. It is just lunch, he knows that. Meredith is happy being Mrs. Dr. Shepherd. Her eyes never wander. Still. Lunch with Alex. It doesn't sit right with him.

Cristina shakes her head. There is nothing they could do. Aside from giving Izzie fair warning. "Try Iz again," she suggests as she stands. Smoothing her skirt down over her knees, she reaches for the brief case she had set down. George nods, reaching for the phone on his desk. She doesn't stay to find out if he was able to get through this time. She needs to call Meredith, to find out what the hell was going on.


	3. An Old Friend

-1Chapter Two

Old Friends

It isn't any surprise that half way to the restaurant the skies open up and unleash their misery. Meredith mentally curses herself for not having the foresight to carry an umbrella or wear a waterproof coat. She knows better than to trust a sunny sky in Seattle. Seattle is never sunny for long. Hence why it was named the Emerald City. A constant watering keeps it lush and green. Placing a hand on her swollen abdomen, she jogs across the semi-busy street. Her feet barely hit the curb when the red light that allowed her to cross turns green. Past experience has taught her to get as far from the curb as possible, unless she wanted to wear muddy water, which she does not. Sure enough, a large truck sends a spray of muck flying onto the sidewalk. A man who crossed behind her yells obscenities as he brushes sludge from his khaki pants.

"Common sense, my man, common sense," she muses to herself. It doesn't take a genius to know something large and fast would send water flying in all directions. It is one of them die in the wool sort of things. Everyone knows. Except the man behind her. She ducks into the restaurant, shivering a bit. Funny, how she wasn't cold out in the rain, but the moment she hits a warm interior, she is frozen. Scanning the room for a familiar face, she smiles when she finds it.

Her grin only grows as she makes her way to the booth where Alex is seated, reading a newspaper. Pressing the paper down, she forces her face into a serious expression. "Reading the New York Times while in Seattle is just wrong."

Alex looks up, frowning. It takes him a moment, then he grins. "Meredith!" Standing, he engulfs her in a hug, mindless of his spotless attire and her damp one. "Look at you, putting the pounds, I see."

Meredith laughs, placing both hands on her stomach. "Yes. Got another two months to pack 'em on, too. I think this one is going to be a boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'm carrying him up high. Which Cristina and Izzie both swear that means it's a girl, but I don't. I promised Derek a son this time, and by golly I'm going to give him a son.!" Sliding into the opposite side of the booth from where Alex was sitting, she grimaces. "You would think they would take pregnant women in consideration when making these damn things."

Alex smiles faintly. He looks like he wants to ask something, but then changes his mind. "How've you been? Other than toting another human being around?"

"Just peachy. I'm an attending now, you know? At Seattle Grace." It had been strange at first, taking Bailey's position when she was named Chief of Surgery.

There hadn't been anyone else to fill the void, though. So, she had stepped up.

"Oh yeah? How's that going?" Alex leans back in the booth, smiling that charming dimpled grin he'd always smiled. He hasn't changed much. The only difference was the air of maturity around him. If anything he has grown more handsome.

"Well. You know. It's kind of hard keeping my secret intern affairs a secret, but I manage. Bailey's chief now, you know?" She had sent him an email saying as much. As with most the emails she sent him, he never responded.

"Yeah. Sorry I didn't respond. Keep busy. Work. Kylie." His voice softens a bit when saying his daughter's name.

Meredith nods. The one constant in his emails was Kylie. There had been pictures attached a couple times. Pretty girl with long strawberry blond hair and large blue eyes. It was hard to say who she looked like. Meredith didn't see Alex or Addison. Derek had one time made the remark that she looked bit like Mark's mother. Which was ridiculous, because Kylie was Alex's daughter. "So, how's she taking it? You moving out here?" It wasn't an easy choice for him, she knew that from his email. He just couldn't take being in the same town, the same state, as Addison. Their divorce had not gone smoothly. Alex had admitted to having at least one affair. A co-worker. He wasn't proud of that, he had just wanted to feel like he mattered to someone. Someone who didn't act as though he was their personal puppet.

"Not to happy about it. I just...couldn't stay, you know?" Alex sighs, taking a sip of his coffee. "She's sick, Mere."

"Who? Kylie?" She frowns. She knew there was a reason for this lunch, she just wasn't expecting it to be something like this. "By sick, you mean sore throat, achy head, right?"

"I wish. She's got ALL," Alex stares at something behind her. No. Not something, nothing. He is lost in thought. About Kylie, no doubt.

"I'm sorry. How long have you known?" Meredith lays a hand on her stomach. She can't imagine what he was going through. Whenever her two year old daughter, Eva so much as coughed she worried. To find out she had leukemia, even if it was acute lymphocytic, she couldn't grasp how terrifying this has to be. Yes, the cure rate is high. Upwards of 90 with medication. Still, it was scary.

"For a while. We've been through everything. Chemo. Even went the bone marrow route. Some fancy thing where they reuse her own marrow. Shit, I'm a doctor," he laughs. "I should know what it's called. I do know what it's called. Just isn't coming to me right now."

Meredith reaches across the table. She takes a hold of his hand. "I'm sorry. I know that doesn't mean much. It wouldn't mean much to me if...if I was in your shoes. Are...are they saying you're out of options?" It sucks. It sucks beyond all reason that Kylie has to be in that 10 who didn't respond to treatment the way she should.

"Aside from suggesting Addison and I have another child for the sole purpose of donating their marrow to Kylie, not really. I couldn't stay, Mer. I know that makes me a coward, but I just...I couldn't stay there and watch my little girl die." His voice is thick, his eyes blurry with unshed tears.

Biting her lip, Meredith looks at their entwined hands. "Do...do they think a sibling would help?" Her heart is pounding. This isn't her place. This isn't her decision. Yet, she can't sit here, knowing what she knew, and not say something.

"Yeah, but...I can't do it Mere. I can't bring another child into this world just...just because...you know? And I sure as hell don't want another reason for Addison to bitch at me." There is a resigned tone to his voice, as though he has given hope.

Meredith takes a deep breath. "Oh God, forgive me," she whispers. "Alex, I think you need to talk to Izzie."

Alex let's out a rueful laugh. "Unless Izzie's a miracle worker, I don't think we would have much to say to each other. We didn't exactly part on amicable terms."

This isn't her place. She hates being in the position she is in. The position where she has to pick a side. Taking a deep breath, she looks at Alex, her eyes full of anguish. "When...when you left Seattle, Izzie...Izzie was pregnant. She was four months pregnant. And...I think...no...I know...I know that her daughter belongs to you."


	4. Sucker Punched

-1Chapter Three

Sucker Punched

The house is exactly where Meredith said it would be. It is one of them Leave it to Beaver kind of neighborhoods, where the lawns were perfectly cut and kids played outside. There is a bunch of little girls near the house Meredith said was Izzie's. Slowing his car down, Alex tries to catch his breath. He has replayed the night he had told Izzie that Addison was pregnant and they were getting married. She had told him she had something she needed to tell him, something important. He had cut her off, thinking she was about to tell him she had changed her mind, that she wanted to pick up where they had left off.

At the time, he had thought he was doing her a favor, saving her the humiliation of hearing he had to choose Addison. What a fool he had been. He should have heard her out. He has no doubt that Izzie had been about to tell him about Lexie. His mouth lifts up a bit at the corners. Alexa Marie Stevens. Meredith said Izzie named her Alexa for him, so she would have some part of her father's name.

Sitting in the car, gripping the steering wheel, he stares out a the group of girls. All of them were the right age. He rules out the tall thin girl with coffee colored skin and large chocolate colored eyes. That leaves a short, almost pudgy girl with frizzy red hair and glasses, a petite girl with almost white blond hair pulled up in pig tails, and a slender girl with long honey colored hair and golden skin. The red haired girl is ruled out when an older version of her yells that it is time for dinner and mom said to come now, no buts.

The door to the white two story that belongs to Izzie opens. A potbellied dachshund wanders out first, followed by a familiar blonde. She hasn't changed, really. Her hair is still golden blonde, pulled back in a loose ponytail; she still smiles that sweet, girl next door smile. After almost twelve years, he thought he would be over her by now, but she still has the ability to bring him to his knees, to leave him feeling as though someone had sucker punched him.

Izzie loops the red leash on one wrist, and adjusts an iPod with the other. He can hear her call the name Lexie, along with Megan. The tiny blond and the golden skinned girl both tell the other girl bye and run to meet Izzie. It is hard to tell which girl is her daughter, she is fawning over them both. It isn't until she rubbed the paler child on the head and told her that her mother is home that he knew. What little air he had left when he sees Izzie wrap an arm around the waist of her daughter, tugging the long honey colored ponytail. Their daughter, he corrects silently.

The girl says something to her mother, getting a laugh and nod. She takes the leash, bending to scratch the rusty red head of the dog. The dog could barely walk, his stomach dragging the ground. They were a block away when he works up the courage to park his car. Two blocks away when he has the nerve to get out.

Standing on the side walk in front of their house, Alex stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He has every right to go up to Izzie, to demand an explanation. Except she would be there. Lexie. And she doesn't deserve that. He has no clue what Izzie has told her, if she has told her anything. He needs a game plan. He made the decision to walk back to his car, to drive to his nearly empty apartment, then call. He doesn't quite make it. Instead, the dog he thought incapable of moving very fast was barreling down the side walk full speed. Lexie and Izzie were right behind him. Muddy feet jump up on his legs, large doe brown eyes stare up at him.

"I am so sorry..." Izzie's voice trails off as she recognizes him. Her face grows pale under normally golden skin. Taking a hold of the leash, she hands it to Lexie. "Go inside sweetie, mommy needs to talk...just go inside. Please. Wash Button's feet off in the garage, if you don't mind."

Lexie frowns, looking from her mother to Alex. "Do you know him?"

Izzie nods. "Um...yeah. He's a...an old friend. From Seattle Grace." The explanation seems to satisfy Lexie. She flashes Alex a grin similar to his own, then bends to heave Button's into her arms. The pair struggle towards the garage, the little girl giggling as the dog licks her face. "I figured you would show up. Just thought I would have a bit more time. Or that you would call first."

It isn't exactly what he had been expecting. In fact, it is nothing like he was expected. Then it dawns on him. She knew that he knew. "Meredith?" She nods, crossing her arms. She darts a glance to the now open garage. Lexie was wrestling the dachshund to the ground, trying to spray the mud from his feet.

"Did she tell you why she told me?"


	5. The Right Thing

-1Chapter Four

The right thing?

The silence that greets him when he enters the front door of the house gives Derek a moments pause. There were days the silence was normal. Meredith would be off running some errand or another, taking Eva with her. Today wasn't one of them days. The dark SUV she drove sat in the drive, and Eva's diaper bag sat at the bottom of the stairs, both signs that his wife and daughter were home. Which made the silence rather eerie. Hanging his jacket on the coat tree to his left, Derek sighs. Most likely, Eva had decided to crash after an over active day and Meredith was enjoying a nap herself.

"Meredith," he calls softly, not wanting to wake her if she is sleeping. A quick perusal of the bottom floor leads him to finding her on the back deck. He could see her through the large windows that faced the lake. There is a light blue throw draped around her shoulders. Shoulders that were drooping. Opening the French doors that lead outside, he calls her name again. This time she looks over her shoulder at him. He frowns. Her cheeks were damp with tears. "Are you alright? Eva? The baby?" His heart pounding, he kneels next to her.

"No. Eva's fine. And...I'm fine. I think. I don't know." With shaking hands, she wipes at her cheeks. No sooner has she cleared the last trace of tears when a new batch starts. "I did something Derek. Something I...maybe...shouldn't have done."

Using the pad of his thumb, he wipes a tear drop from her trembling chin. "What did you do? Whatever it is, I'm sure it isn't worth beating yourself up over." He has grown use to her emotional outbursts. From day one of her pregnancy, she has been like an emotional rollercoaster. Happy and laughing one minute, crying buckets the next. Until he knew for sure what had brought her round of tears on, he wasn't going to panic or become upset.

"No. I do. I do need to beat myself up over this, because I should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have just called Izzie...told her the situation...and...and let her decide. But...no...I had to open my big mouth. And now..." She trails off as she bursts into a sob. She hates being so emotional. Oh, she knew it couldn't be helped. Pregnant or not, she would have felt horrible for what she had done. The extra hormones made things worse, though. She was a sopping mess of emotions.

"And now," he prompts. Derek learned long ago that it was just best to let Meredith get her rambling done before asking questions.

"And now Alex is over there. I told Alex about Lexie." Meredith looks at him, her blue-grey eyes full of torment.

Derek is taken aback for a moment. The secret of Lexie Stevens had been well guarded by them all for the last ten and a half years. There wasn't a single one of them that didn't have emotions invested in the girl. Whatever had driven

Meredith to tell Alex, it had to be big. She wouldn't just tell him. Not without reason. "Okay," he says slowly. "Do you want to tell me why?"

Shoulders hunching over even more, she buries her face in her hands, sobbing. It takes her a moment to compose herself. "When Izzie was pregnant, I use to wish all these horrible things on Addison and her...daughter. Which is extremely childish, I know. I didn't mean it though. I didn't mean any of the bad Karma I sent her way...Kylie's, not Addison's."

Wrinkling his forehead, Derek brushes a lock of hair from her face. It was sticky with tears. "Is that why you told Alex? Because you had some misplaced guilt for wishing Addison and Kylie ill-will?" It makes no sense. He himself was guilty of wishing Addison ill will. The woman had turned Mark into an even bigger ass than he had been. She had taken a father from Lexie. Hell, he was even willing to go as far as to say she had taken the love of Izzie's life from her. He could still remember the day Lexie had been born. Izzie had sat there, holding that beautiful little baby, sobbing. She had sat there crying, telling that tiny baby how sorry she was. When he had asked Meredith what Izzie had to be sorry for, Meredith had told him Izzie was sorry for not realizing she loved Alex sooner. Maybe if she had, he wouldn't have turned to Addison.

"No. Kylie's sick, Derek. She...she has cancer. And...when Alex was sitting there...telling me they were out of options...that…that the doctors thought her best chance was a sibling…" her voice cracks. She sniffles a bit, letting out a shaky breath. "He...he said he couldn't see having another child with Addison. Not when it's sole purpose was saving Kylie. He...he said he didn't want another reason to have Addison in his life. He moved here because he didn't want to watch his daughter die, Derek. I couldn't just...not say anything. I had to say something. Right?"

Sighing, Derek stands, pulling Meredith to her feet. He takes her place in the chair, then gently settles her on his lap. He wraps his arms around her much the way he would have Eva. He kisses her forehead, making soft murmuring sounds. Nothing he had to say would matter. Knowing she was loved, that was what mattered. He could do that. He could make her feel loved. For good measure, though, he murmurs in her ear, "Yes. You did the right thing."


	6. Confrontation

-1Chapter Five

Confrontation

From the moment the pregnancy test read positive, Izzie had known this day would come. Shortly after Lexie's birth, she had thought about calling him, telling him about their beautiful daughter. Then Meredith received first email from Alex. It had been short. Just a quick note to announce the birth of one Kylie Elaina Karev. There had been a picture attached. One that had shown Alex and Addison holding their tiny daughter with her spiky reddish blond hair. She couldn't call, not after seeing that photo. She couldn't destroy what looked to be a happy family. So, she had made the choice to wait. She would wait until her daughter asked about the father who wasn't there.

The question was asked sooner than she had expected. It had come when Lexie was only four. It was towards the end of preschool. Izzie could still remember that sweet faced little girl looking up at her, from eyes so like her father's, and asking where her daddy was, because she had a card for him. They had made Father's Day cards at school, and she needed to give her's to her father. It had been all Izzie could do not to cry. Instead, she had taken the card from Lexie, wrote a five page letter to Alex, telling him about their daughter, begging him to forgive her, and mailed it in care of the hospital where him and Addison worked.

The letter was returned two weeks later. If it had just been returned, it wouldn't have mattered as much. Except, it wasn't just returned. It had a rather nasty note scribbled on the back from Addison telling her to stay out of their lives. She had taken the unopened letter and stuck it in a box. The box was full of father's day cards and what not's that Lexie had made over the years, always trusting that her mother was getting them to her father.

Looking over at her daughter, she smiles faintly. She can't help it. No matter how ugly a situation was, one look at her daughter and the world was made right once again. Lexie smiles back at her, dimples indenting either cheek. Funny, she has never noticed how much Lexie looks like Alex until now. She has never had the guts to take their pictures and lay them side by side. She looks back at Alex, the faint grin fading. The question he has asked was logical. "She told me. I'm sorry. I...I can't imagine what Addison and you are going through."

Alex nods, his face growing more somber. There were a million questions running through his mind. That much was obvious. "I need to know if Lexie is a donor match for Kylie."

Izzie tries not to be angry. He has raised Kylie. From the moment she breathed her first breath until now, he has been there. Loving her, teaching her things. It was natural that she would be his first concern, but dammit what about Lexie? Wasn't he the least bit curious about her? Or was she just some useful commodity to save his other daughter? "Did you think I would say no?" That hurt almost as much as him not asking about Lexie.

"I don't know what think Izzie," he says softly, looking toward the garage. Both child and dog were soaking wet. Bell-like giggles echoed through the air.

"I know. And...I'm sorry. I truly am sorry Alex." God she is sorry. More than he would ever know.

It had been three weeks before her due date that she had realized she loved him. Realizing that had almost driven her over the edge. If it hadn't been Meredith and Cristina, Callie as well, she would sunk into a depression. Callie had been the one to make her realize that she couldn't think about herself anymore. She had to think about her child. She was no longer just Izzie. She was a mother. And mother's put their own feelings aside to do what is best for their child. She could almost hear Callie saying the words again. "I should have told you that night. Regardless of how upset I was about Addison...I should have told you. I was going to tell you. I was...you...if you don't believe another word I say, at least believe that."

"Yeah. I know. I put two and two together. After Meredith told me." Alex shifts around, looking at the damp ground. It was partially wet from the rain earlier, and partially from the running water hose. His discomfort is clear. For some reason it annoys her. This isn't easy for her either, but she isn't looking around and avoiding. No. She is facing it all head on. Even though all she wants to do is grab her daughter and run.

"I just...I didn't know what to do. When you told me about Addison...I..I didn't know what to do. So, I said nothing. I didn't want to put you in the position to have to choose. So, right or wrong, I made the choice for you. And...I'm sorry. I am." She couldn't say it enough. She is sorry. Not that her apologies amounted to much. The angry look Alex sends her makes that very clear.

"Stop it!" They both turn when they hear Lexie screaming. She is on the garage floor, covering her face with her hands while Button jumps on her. She loves the dog. Has loved him from the time she unwrapped the box he was in on her third birthday. It was when he jumped and got in her face that she became upset, the way he was now. Her fear came stemmed from being bitten by a neighbors dog when she was five.

"Buttons!" Izzie snaps. The dachshund looks up at her, then lowers his head. He slinks off to a dark corner of the garage. To pout no doubt. He knew better. She starts up the drive, Lexie meeting her half way. "Go inside. Get some dry clothes on. Make sure you put the wet ones in the washer, not on the floor." Kissing the smooth forehead, she gives Lexie a gentle push toward the door that led to the kitchen, via a washroom.

"Do I know him?" Lexie is staring back down the drive, where Alex stood waiting. Izzie's heart pounds. Would Lexie recognize her own eye color and smile?

"No. He's a friend. From my past. Seattle Grace." As usual, Lexie trusts what she is saying. Watching as her daughter slams into the house, she lets out a sigh of disgust. She should have just told her. She should have worked the courage up to tell her that Alex was her father. Except, then Lexie would get her hopes up. She would ask him about the cards she had made him, cards that were in a box under her mother's bed.

"Is that what I'm always going to be? A friend from your past?"

She jumps. She hadn't seen him come into the garage. "What am I suppose to tell her, Alex?" There. The ball was in his court. 'Please God,' she prays silently, 'let him want to be a father to her. Let him want to get to know her. She needs him.'

"I don't know, Iz." It is all she could do not to turn on him and scream. Didn't he even care? No. He probably didn't. He was just so wrapped up in Addison and her daughter, that he didn't care. Her eyes burn a bit. She wouldn't cry, though. Not in front him. She would wait until she was in the shower. That was the one place she knew she could cry without worry that Lexie would see and get upset.

"Then we stick with you're an old friend," she says tensely. She blinks a bit. Before she could stop it one tear slips down her cheek. It slowly wound down, pausing on her jaw before dripping onto her shoulder. She bites her lip, trying to keep from saying things she shouldn't. The anger of being a single mother for eleven years is welling up inside her. Before she can stop herself the words are spilling out. "Don't you care? Don't you care one bit about her? Or...what? She's just...just...something else to use to save Kylie? She's your daughter Alex. Your flesh and blood. And you don't care. You just...you don't care, do you?" Did she even want the answer to that? Probably not. It was better to know, though. "You wouldn't even be here if you didn't think she could save Kylie. If Kylie wasn't sick and Meredith had still told you, you wouldn't have come. I mean, why would you? We both know…" She stops. She isn't going to let him know that she loves him, that even now, so many years later, him choosing Addison over her still hurt.

"Is that what you think? That I don't care? What am I suppose to do, Iz? _You _kept her from me." He stops his jaw tightening.

"I didn't keep her from you! I wanted to tell you! I was going to tell you. You just didn't give me the chance. You were to busy telling me all about your upcoming marriage to Addison. And...the child you were going to have together. When...during that little speech...was I suppose to say what about my baby...our baby? When was I suppose to say something? I wanted to. I wanted to tell you...but, I just couldn't." The tears she had been fighting burst loose. They stream down her cheeks. "Then, when she was born...I tried to...I was going to call but every time I picked up the phone I couldn't dial the number because I didn't know how I was suppose to tell you. When I finally got the courage up to call, Meredith forwarded Kylie's birth announcement. And...I couldn't...couldn't bear the thought of destroying that baby's perfect world." She wipes at her cheeks. She can't explain how good it felt to just say all the things that has been bottled up inside.

"You should have done it. For Lexie. You should have picked up the fucking phone and called!" He is fighting not to yell. She knew him well enough to know that. Some things never changed. "Don't you think Lexie needed her father, too?"

"You think I don't know that! I know that better than anyone Alex! I'm the one who has to lie to her child. Me. Not you! Stupid fucking cards. Every damn year. Every year they make those stupid ass father's day cards...and...she gives it to me. To mail to you. She thinks I mail them to her father. To you. I tried that once, you know? The first one. I felt so sick that she didn't have a daddy to give that card to. So I sucked it up, wrote you a letter...telling you about her...put the card in there...along with a bunch of pictures. Got it back three weeks later with a nice note from Addison to leave you alone. I tried...and I know that she needed...needs you!" Her body is shaking. A weight is lifted, though. The weight of keeping it all inside.

The blood has drained from his face, leaving him a sickly yellowish color. His adams apple bobs up and down as he swallows. "You...you sent me a letter?" She nods, crossing her arms. It had grown a bit chilly. There was a crisp breeze that hadn't been there before. A sure sign that summer would be ending soon. "Was it open? When you got it back?"

Izzie shakes her head. "No. It wasn't open. Addison just wrote return to sender on the front of it. Then her little note on the back. She didn't know about Lexie, if that's what you're thinking. If she had...she would have contacted me. About Kylie. And the...the testing. She would have done what you're doing now. Used my child to help her's." Saying the words leaves an ugly, bitter taste in her mouth. It is the truth though. Alex is there because of Kylie.

He stares at her, making her shift around uncomfortably. She thought she buried her feelings for him a long time ago. Apparrently she hasn't, because they were rearing their ugly head. "I didn't come just because of Kylie, Iz," he says in a husky tone. For the first time, she notices the hurt in his eyes. "I love Kylie. She's my baby. Despite everything Addison and I have been through...despite what we did to each other...Kylie was right. When she first got sick, I was the kind of dad doctors hate. The one who showed up at the appointments with suggestions. Tried every last one of them too. None of them worked. Tried chemo. Watched her swell up. Watched her lose all her hair. Didn't do a bit of good. Slowed it down a bit, but didn't fix anything. Her last appointment, doctor suggested a sibling donor. Addison was all over that one. Wanted to run right down to the nearest fertility clinic. She knew better than to suggest having one the old fashioned way. I couldn't do it. Not even to save Kylie. I couldn't stomach the thought of bringing a child into this world just because their bone marrow _might _save their sister's life. Addison called me every name in the book. Said I was a sorry excuse for a father. That was always her favorite. I was a sorry ass father. I wasn't, though, Iz. Every dance recital, every school award, I was there. I might have sucked in the husband department, but I was a good father!" He pauses, running a hand over his chin. " I couldn't stay. I couldn't stay and watch her die."

Izzie's heart breaks a bit. She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing at all.

"When Meredith told me about Lexie, my first thought was about whether or not she could help Kylie. I'll admit that. You can't blame me for that, Iz. You can't blame me for wanting to save my child." He is pleading now. Needing her to understand. She did. To a point she understood. It didn't' change that Lexie is her first priority even if she isn't Alex's.

"I don't blame you Alex. And...if Lexie matches...I'm not going to say she can't help. That you can't use her to help Kylie. But...what about her? What about Lexie? Where does she fit in your life? Or doesn't she?" It is a lot to lay on him. Asking him where the daughter he had known about less than an hour would fit into his life. She has to know though, for Lexie's sake. There would be questions when the testing started. She needs to have answers ready.

It seems like an eternity before Alex answers her. "She's my daughter, too. I'm not going to just walk away. I can't. I wouldn't have...if I had known...I can't just walk away."


	7. Worry Wart

-1Chapter Six

Worry Wart

Four surgeries. Thirteen scheduled consultations. Two emergencies. One phone call from his oldest son's principal concerning a frog in the teacher's coffee cup. Four phone calls from Callie reminding him she is on call and not to forget that he has to pick the kids up from daycare. None of it has fully distracted him from the situation Izzie is facing. It was Cristina to spill the news. Meredith told Alex about Lexie. George's first reaction had been anger. Anger at Meredith for opening her mouth. Anger at Alex for showing back up after all this time. The anger was short lived. Much as he dislikes Karev, he wouldn't wish a sick child on anyone.

"Deirdre, unless you tell me I have some patients I forgot about, I'm calling it quits for the day." George pauses next to the receptionist's desk. There are several people lingering in the waiting area. Most likely they belong to Cristina. One of her surgeries has taken longer than expected, resulting in backed up appointments. In typical Cristina fashion, she refused his offer of help.

"Callie called. She says to remind you that you need to pick the children up from daycare. Please don't forget them this time, as it upsets Garret very much. She also said to remind you that Jordan has soccer practice at six, and Shelby has piano at six-thirty. You will need to drop Jordan off at the field, but don't leave without being sure someone else is there. Then take Shelby to her lesson." Deirdre hands him the sticky note the message had been written on. "She also said not to take them out to eat. It won't kill you to cook."

"Yeah. Thanks Rose," he crumbles the note up, stuffing it in his pocket. One time. He had forgotten to pick the children up one time. Callie has never let him forget it. There are times he is tempted to call her and remind her to pick them up, just to show her how annoying it really was. "Let Dr. Yang know I've left for day."

"Will do, Dr. O'Malley," she says not looking up from her typing. Always doing something, he muses as he adjusts his leather satchel. Using the back elevator reserved for business owners, he leans against the wall, sighing. Taking his cell phone from his pocket, he dials a familiar number. Four rings before going to voice mail. "Iz. It's George. Again. Please call me back. Let me know you're okay." He hangs up, sighing again.

He starts to shove the phone back into his pocket, then changes his mind. Unlike Izzie, Callie answers on the second ring. "I'm not going to forget to pick the kids up." he grins when she teases him about the one time he had. "Hey, define cooking." He listens as she rambles off several easy choices for him to make for dinner. Macaroni and hot dogs, the one thing he is a master at making, isn't on the list. They chat a few moments longer, teasing each other about who loves who more. The tone turns serious when he finally works up the courage to tell her about Alex. He holds the phone from his ear while she rants about what a sorry bastard she thinks Karev is. It takes him four tries to tell her what is going on. "I'm worried Cal. Iz isn't answering her phone. I haven't been able to get a hold of her all day." He resists the urge to roll his eyes as Callie went into her worry less about Izzie's life and more about his own lecture. He knows this. He knows that Izzie doesn't need him worrying about her or Lexie. It isn't something he could help. Callie knows this. She only lectures because Izzie had bitched about him interfering one to many times. Izzie could bitch. Callie could lecture. George would worry. That is just the way it is.


	8. Questions

-1**Author's Note: I don't like writing these but I had an anonymous review, so I am going to answer their question here. This story is a two part story. Life's Choice's is from Izzie and Alex's perspectives with some Addison and Mark thrown in. Life's Truth is going to be Addison and Mark's perspective's with some Alex and Izzie thrown in. It is almost impossible to understand one story without reading the other. And please, don't dislike Addison in this story. She hasn't done anything to earn that dislike. If you stop to realize what she is going through you might understand her a bit better. **

Chapter Eight

Questions

An old friend from Seattle Grace.

That is what he has remained. It isn't how Alex wants things to be, but right now there really isn't much choice. Izzie wanted Lexie to get to know him. Then, once they were comfortable around each other, had developed a relationship, so to speak, they would tell her, together.

The relationship was coming, slowly. He has been to every soccer practice, a rather painful piano recital, and some welcome back to school social. The first few soccer practices, Lexie looked at him oddly. He later overheard her asking Izzie why he was there. Izzie had smoothed it over saying they were old friends, he was there to keep her company while Lexie practiced. Gradually, she just accepted that "the old friend" was going to be there and started talking to him a bit more. It was after her last actual game that she first hugged him. She had scored the winning goal, and he had been proud of her. He had told her as much. She had flung her arms around him, saying he was the best daddy ever, and wasn't his little girl lucky to have him? It had taken him a moment to realize she was talking about Kylie. Kylie was Izzie's other excuse for him being around. He missed his daughter, she had told Lexie, and hanging around them made him miss her less. After that, most of their conversations had been about Kylie, Lexie asking him what sort of things he did with his daughter.

"You like my mom, don't you?"

Alex blinks, looking down at the face he has come to love. A cross between him and Izzie. All their best features rolled into one. She'll be a heartbreaker when she gets older, he thinks. "Yes. I do. I like your mom very much."

Lexie nods, her honey colored hair bouncing around her shoulders. Her hazel eyes narrow slightly. "I think she likes you, too." One slender index finger reaches up to twist a curl. She seems to be thinking on that. Alex liking Izzie. Izzie liking Alex. "I like you. You're nice. And, if I didn't have a dad, I think you would make a good one."

His heart skips a beat. He wants to tell her. To just wrap his arms around her and tell her that he _is_ her father. He couldn't though. Whether he likes it or not, Izzie is right. They have to go about this cautiously, otherwise she would end up resenting them both. "Thank you. That means a lot. More than you know," he says huskily. His hands itch to hold her. He has missed so much. Izzie had given him the box from under the bed. It had been full of hand-made father's day cards. Little crafty "gifts" and crayon drawings. As much as all those had meant, it had been the letter from Izzie that had torn his heart in two. She had poured all the love a mother has for a child into those pages. His gut had twisted with anger when he had seen Addison's familiar script on the back. _"You are a part of Alex's past he doesn't care to remember. At least respect him enough to stay out of his life. You are not welcome." _Hateful lies. Born out of Addison's jealousy.

"She loves my dad, though. And, one day, he's going to come back." Lexie says it so matter of factly. He isn't sure if it is little girl wishes or something she knows to be a fact. Although, he can't see Izzie confessing to a child that she is still madly in with the man who had left her to marry another woman who was also pregnant with his child. Most likely Izzie had told Lexie that she would always love her father, a mother soothing a child with questions. "She didn't tell me that," Lexie continues "I heard her and Aunt Meredith talking once. 'Bout how she loved my dad, but it was too late, cause he was already gone. I'm not sure where he went, but my mom knows. She sends him things for me. And I know one day he's gonna come back. That's why I try to be really good. So he'll come back. That's why Megan's dad left, you know? Cause she wasn't good. Her mom tells her that isn't true, but Megan says she knows better."

He can't move, talk, breath, nothing. His heart broke. For Lexie, who thought if she was good enough he would come back. For sweet little Megan across the street, who thought her father had left because of her. For Izzie, who had raised the amazing little girl sitting on the swing next to him. "Megan's dad didn't leave because she wasn't good. Sometimes, mommy's and daddy's just can't get along. It has nothing to do with the child." For the first time, he wonders if that is what Kylie thinks, that she is the reason him and Addison had divorced. God, he hopes not.

"Is that why my dad left? Him and mommy couldn't get along? Cause, mommy loved him. I heard her tell Aunt Meredith that." Lexie's lower lip trembled a bit. There is the threat of tears in eyes that are mirror images of his own.

"I...your dad loved your mom. Very much. He didn't know that she loved him, though." It was a fine line he was walking. One that would bring Izzie's wrath upon him, no doubt. He just couldn't say nothing though.

"You know my dad?" Her face brightens. So eager to know her father. He wonders if Izzie has any clue how much Lexie has missed having him. Something told him she did.

"Uh. Yeah. I know your dad. Really well." _I am your dad_, he wants to say. He can't though. Izzie and him have a deal. A deal that he is really starting to question. Lexie is his child, too. He should have some say in how this all played out. Except, he doesn't know her, and Izzie does.

"Does he love me?" It is asked softly, with eyes pleading for an answer. A slight movement behind her draws his attention. Izzie. She looks beautiful, even in a pair of faded and ripped denim jeans that cling to her every curve and a long sleeved t-shirt with Lexie's soccer team emblazed across the front.

"Yeah. Your dad loves you," he answers, almost as softly. The words are for Lexie, but his eyes are on Izzie.


	9. Soul Meets Body

-1Chapter Nine

Soul Meets Body

It is time. Izzie knows this. They need to tell Lexie. She didn't mean to eavesdrop on the conversation. It just sort of happened. She had looked at the clock, realized it was almost time for dinner, and went to ask if they were game for pizza. They. She had gotten into the habit of including Alex. Perhaps that was why she had put telling Lexie off. As long as the girl was in the dark about Alex being her father, Izzie had an excuse for them to all three be together. Almost like a family. She needed to be careful, thinking that way. Alex came around for one reason, and one reason only: Lexie.

Closing the door to "the reason's" room, she lets out a sigh. Alex would be gone when she went back downstairs. He usually was. Why would he stay? He had spent time with Lexie, had gotten to say his good-nights, there is no reason for him to stay. She stops short of the living room. He was still there, sitting on the couch, a glass of wine cupped in his hand. There is a thoughtful look on his face. No doubt he is thinking about Kylie. Addison was flying in tomorrow with the girl.

"You look deep in thought," she muses walking into the dimly lit room. The only light came from the fire roaring in the fireplace. It isn't quite cold enough for one, but Lexie had thought it would be great one to roast marshmallows, and Alex had agreed. How they could stomach eating the charred gooey mess she didn't know.

Alex nods, taking a sip of his wine. His eyes follow her as she settles in the chair adjacent to the couch. Self-consciously, she reaches for her half drank goblet of wine. Red. It had gone well with the pizza they'd had delivered. "Hm. Yeah. I suppose I am."

"I think you should tell her. I know we talked about the two of us telling her, but...I think it would mean more if you told her." Izzie takes a large gulp of wine, grimacing a bit as it gets stuck on the lump in her throat. "Unless you want me to her. I can." She sounds like a rambling idiot. It is just odd. With the exception of the garage conversation, and some whispered decisions during soccer practices, they hadn't been alone.

"I can tell her. Or, we can tell her together." His voice sounds distracted. Actually, he looks distracted. The way he kept swirling his glass of wine, the way his left knee bounces slightly. "Did you love me?"

Blinking, Izzie stares at him, taking another sip of her wine. Her stomach is twisting in a million knots. Part of her wants to ask why would he ask something like that, but she knows the answer. Lexie. Lexie and her little girl dream of mommy and daddy being together. Plus, her overhearing that drunken, tear filled conversation with Meredith a few months ago hadn't helped. She debates on what to tell him, then decides she owes him the truth. There has been enough lies. "Yes. Yes I did." For lack of something to do, she takes another sip, only to find the goblet empty. She reaches for the bottle on the coffee table the same moment Alex did. Their hands only brush momentarily, but the shock lingers. She holds the glass steady, letting him pour the blood colored drink.

"Did? Or do?" He sets the bottle back onto the mahogany table, his gaze never leaving her's.

" You're Lexie's father. So, yes, I am always going to love you. You gave me my daughter." It is a half ass answer, and not what he is asking. It is the only one she can give, though. If she admits that she has always loved him, and ha has fallen back in love with him over the past three weeks, it would give him the power to hurt her. She can't afford to be hurt. Not when she has a child that depends on her. No, it is best to just let things be.

"That isn't what I was asking. You know that." He says softly. Their eyes meet, before she looks away, watching the fire dance. "Do you love me? Me. Alex. Not Lexie's father."

Dammit. This isn't fair. It is hard not to cry. If she told him the truth on this, it would make things awkward. There would be no more of the semi-easy friendship they have developed where Lexie is concerned. "Iz." She looks up, sucking in her breath when she realized he was right there, sitting on the edge of the ottoman that sat in front of her chair.

"What do you want me to say? That I realized what a stupid idiot I was after you were gone? That I sat up at night, crying, just thinking about the perfect little family you and Addison were building? That every time I looked at our daughter, I saw you and it made me love you more? Is that what you want to hear? Fine. I did. I did all those things. Hell, I still do!" The words come out before she can stop them. "Oh, God! I-" He cuts her apology off with a kiss. His strong hands cup her face, the fingers buried in her hair. Desires she has kept buried flare to life. His hands drop from her face to her shoulders, skimming down her arms. She lifts her arms a bit, letting him pull the light yellow top over her head. She let's out a tiny moan as his mouth moves along her collar bone. She fumbles for the hem of his shirt, finding it. She tugs it up, tangling him in it. He moves back far enough to yank it over his head, tossing it on top of her's.

She leans back in the chair, closing her eyes. His mouth and hands seemed to be everywhere. Izzie arches her back, as his fingers fumble with the clasp of her bra. The moment her breasts were from the pale peach silk and lace, his hands slid up her waist to cup them. "So beautiful," he murmurs before covering her mouth with his in another passion filled kiss. The pad of one thumb flicks across a nipple, making her moan into his mouth. She was vaguely aware of his undoing her jeans, of him sliding them down her hips. Kicking them free of her ankles, she reaches for him, returning the favor. A faint voice of reason told her she should stop him. That she needed to tell him there hadn't been anyone else since him. Nine years of celibacy overruled that tiny voice of reason that told her she needed to tell him she wasn't protected, that he needed to be the one who...The tiny voice disappears altogether as his thickness fills her.

"Oh God," she moans, wrapping her legs around him. The chair digs into her back as he thrusts into her, she barely noticed. It wasn't about filling a physical need. She had had plenty of opportunities. Hell, Mark had tried on more than one occasion. Every time, she gathered all her will power, and told herself Lexie came first. Perhaps it is because this is Alex, the man she loves, that made it seem right.

Gripping her hips, Alex pulls her down on top of him. He reaches up, to brush her hair from her face, then pulls her head down to kiss her. She slides her hands up his chest, tilting her head back as the passion starts to overtake her. She whimpers his name as he thrusts up and into her harder and faster. "Alex," she pants, scraping her nails across his shoulders. The hands holding her waist hold tighter as they both cry their release. She collapses against him. She longs to ask him what now, but can't bring herself to ruin the mood, so she lays there, savoring the feel of his skin against her's.


End file.
